Conscious Entitlement

Conscious Entitlement. The self-righteous path of a ‘victim of trauma’. 😇

The following words are strong, so please do not continue to read if you take everything personally or easily feel offended. I write here in honest acknowledgement of my own pathology and blindspots. I am not proclaiming to be an expert on the topic. and I most certainly do not have any advise to offer. I am simply reflecting on my own process and observing the exaggerated illumination of trauma in the wellness world right now.

Curiously I am contemplating a few critical questions like: How useful is it to applaud ‘hyper-sensitivity’ and promote the ‘specialness’ of trauma? How helpful is it to sell ‘one size fits all’ quick fixes that bypass the deeper resolution of self-responsibility? How much value is there in the delusion that we can avoid problems and pain? All I see in the so-called ‘healing field’ is a steady increase of brokenness and confusion, amplified by our ego illusion of ‘superiority’.  In our eliteness we believe that: Our own trauma is more noteworthy. Our diet is more pure. Our coping strategies are more effective. Our meditation methods are more enlightening. Our yoga style is more powerful.

Why is it that we try validate our own approach by knocking other practices? Why must everyone agree with our beliefs? Why do we project our issues onto friends and family by force-feeding them advise they did not ask for?

Let’s set one thing straight here. I am not denying the radical atrocities that has happened to many of us. And I know that trauma has very intricate roots in neurobiology. For sure it is vitally important that we honor and understand our own trauma and the trauma of others. And of course we should be clear about our boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. But for gods sake why are we so petty and precious with those who actually go out of their way to care about us? This type of mis-directed protective effort actually traumatizes or re-traumatizes those who are closest to us. As such it keeps the loop of trauma spinning into infinity.

Perhaps we will make much greater progress if we honestly face our ‘victim mentality’? Perhaps we can ignite real self-worth by employing our energy to build stronger resilience, so that we can snap out of the justification of our self-righteous, entitled behavior?

Personally I vow to take my power back by stoping to blame other people or circumstances for my misery. After a lifetime of being a victim, I finally feel a ray of freedom through the courage to own my bullshit. If someone or something triggers me, I use the ‘fuck-you’ or ‘fuck-it’ resonance of my anger to propel forward and transform my life. I will no longer let the virtue signalling of a soft-spoken, pretentious ‘conscious community’ trap me in the hell of niceness.

Trauma

(This photo was taken in 1999 during my early, ‘untainted’ yoga days when I discovered BKS Iyengar’s book ‘Light on Yoga’. Inspired to change my life I used to practice yoga on the concrete floor of the ablution block of the caravan park in Cornwall where I was living.)