Last year over Easter my world shattered. Totally depleted I locked myself inside my Yoga studio in solitude. Rain pouring outside, my crying body cuddled in Yin postures. I was lost.
Everything I believed shattered. Kind of like a mid-life crisis, but instead of divorcing my husband I broke up with the beloved Yoga styles that I was married to all my life. The Iyengar Yoga qualification I worked so hard to achieve suddenly had no value. The strong Ashtanga Yoga practice I cultivated over years became impossible to do.
Feeling fake and phony, my reality smashed into fragmented pieces. My battery was flat, with no more pushing power. Chronic inflammation and fatigue persisted.
Purely by chance, or perhaps through grace, I found solace in Yin, an antidote to my biased view of Yoga postures. Instead of climbing to the peak of a mountain in Yang (active) pursuit, I learnt to relax and flow with the river of Yin (passive).
Finally I enrolled in a Yin Yoga teacher training with Bernie Clark, in the Paul Grilley style, which honestly has been a life-line and immensely insightful. It’s the missing piece of my Yoga puzzle!
Yin Yoga is based on the Chinese Meridian system and Daoist philosophy. It breaks all the rules of Yang Yoga, totally disregards classic alignment cues, and honors the interoception (internal sensations) of each individual.
Today is a little over one year since my major meltdown, and I see a glimmer of wholeness that I never thought I would recover.
Embarrassingly, over the past 16 years, as I built a career in Yoga, I sadly lost the purity of passion that initially ignited the spark of my soul revolution in the 90’s. The competition and oneupmanship of the Yoga ‘industry’ hijacked my heart essence and corrupted my vision of ‘business’ integrity.
The stresses of life kept rolling in, and I continued on the rollercoaster of hyper-vigilance, until thankfully it all collapsed. What a deep sigh of relief, a true transcendent breakthrough.
Such a delight to start all over again, humbly, with a subtle intention to balance Yin and Yang, gentleness and strength.
